Be OK With You!

I love this picture. It conjures up a life I once knew as a little girl with red hair, freckles, and giggles. So innocent, happy, and carefree. At age 6, my self-worth was impenetrable. I knew I had it goin' on and nobody could tell me otherwise. haha. Especially after I got first place in my kindergarten class hoola hoop contest. I literally remember thinking, I am awesome! (I still have that blue ribbon and I will still say loud and proud that that was one of my finest accomplishments!)

Sadly, as the years rolled by I began to listen and believe what others said about me, or treated me. When I was 8 years old my family and I moved to the Washington D.C. area. Being a minority in an almost an all black school, I learned pretty quickly to keep my eyes down. Eye contact got you in trouble. Really. Pasty white kids like me were the target. Every day I lived in fear starting from boarding the bus in the morning until getting off in the afternoon. Ever see the movie, "Lean On Me?" The high school portrayed in that movie was my school experience. I can still feel the deep knots in my stomach thinking back to those years.

I learned to disappear in order to survive. Literally. This is pathetic, I know, but I remember many days eating my lunch in the bathroom to avoid taunting from the other kids. I further avoided any activities where I would stand out. It worked pretty well for 5 years, until I moved to California and found my voice.

At first it was strange for me to speak, to laugh, to participate in normal school activities without the threat of being beaten up. It was weird to go to school and not be in the middle of a war zone. I felt free to be me. Finally. But, who was I?

And that's not the first or last time I have asked myself that question. Who am I? Am I of value? Worth? Do I matter? What do I value? Why am I here? 

Over the years, I've worked with many people who have had these same questions. And many of them didn't see their own value. They couldn't accept how truly awesome they were and are. It was so frustrating for me, because I saw their "awesomeness" so clearly. They just didn't believe it. Sound familiar? Do you accept and approve of you? Or are you only conditionally self approving? "I will approve of myself only when I...." lose 10 pounds; beat my last time; make more money; stop drinking diet coke;) Really?

Do you know anyone that is perfect? I don't. Personally, I think flaws make a person more beautiful, more dynamic and interesting. Sure, it's a great thing to want to be a better person, to work towards perfection. But, enjoying the journey along the way is the real adventure, learning and growing while striving to be the best version of yourself. So be ok with you. Now. And please don't beat yourself to a bloody pulp when you make mistakes or things don't go as planned. 

Going back to the poster up above. Happy girls are the prettiest! That's what I'm told. And I believe it. And adding further....Happy, confident girls are even prettier. Sure you have quarks, maybe a quick temper, impatient, a slow driver, a bad cook, or maybe you're too freaking sensitive.

But you are you. And nobody can be better at you than you. Don't let anyone tell you you're not OK. You are OK! And YOU are awesome!!!